Friday, February 25, 2005
Porn to swim?
The sports centres and health clubs of London are such amazing places to find strange assortments of human life. I was having a casual swim yesterday at my local pool,trying to avoid contact with all the obese,hairy,spluttering swimmers(and that was only the women)heading in my direction, when I heard something unusual. At first I had to pinch myself(very hard to do without drowning)to check I was at a swimming pool. The sound was directed to a small boy attempting to swim, but the sound was coming from a blond buxom lady ,with no waist, sporting a very skin tight white bikini top and tight pink shorts .A sort of Pamela Anderson without the lips.
"OOO000H" she said in a voice that flowed slower than treacle from a spoon.
"Thats gooooood.Oooh, I luuuuuurve watching you swim.O00000h, you swim SOOOOOOOO GUUUUUURRRRDDDD.You are such a GUUUUURRRRRRD boy. Yeah, OOOOH thats right swim to me".
Looking around I could see the edgy looks on all the men, wondering how they were gonna get out the pool without showing some very embarassing packages.I could feel water heating up now nearly at temperatures hot enough to cook a sunday afternoons Brussel sprouts.
"OOOOOOH yeah,thats fantastic" she said ,bending over the pool edge and showing more cleavage than brickie with a pair of slacks. I could just imagine how this kid was going to grow up.Frantically searching the London phone boxes for some sleazy hooker to fulfill the same praises as he had received as a child.Never understanding why he couldn't find some beautiful woman that treat him as if he were a God.One can only wonder if the new age working mothers of today know what is happening to their fobbed off children.
Surprise!
One to watch :
Remember Killing joke, the early eighties post punk band? Well they're playing at Shepherd's bush Empire for their last night tonight,25 years after they first played there. One has to wonder if they'll be bringing their zimmer frames along or whether they'll just be seated in armchairs.
"OOO000H" she said in a voice that flowed slower than treacle from a spoon.
"Thats gooooood.Oooh, I luuuuuurve watching you swim.O00000h, you swim SOOOOOOOO GUUUUUURRRRDDDD.You are such a GUUUUURRRRRRD boy. Yeah, OOOOH thats right swim to me".
Looking around I could see the edgy looks on all the men, wondering how they were gonna get out the pool without showing some very embarassing packages.I could feel water heating up now nearly at temperatures hot enough to cook a sunday afternoons Brussel sprouts.
"OOOOOOH yeah,thats fantastic" she said ,bending over the pool edge and showing more cleavage than brickie with a pair of slacks. I could just imagine how this kid was going to grow up.Frantically searching the London phone boxes for some sleazy hooker to fulfill the same praises as he had received as a child.Never understanding why he couldn't find some beautiful woman that treat him as if he were a God.One can only wonder if the new age working mothers of today know what is happening to their fobbed off children.
Surprise!
One to watch :
Remember Killing joke, the early eighties post punk band? Well they're playing at Shepherd's bush Empire for their last night tonight,25 years after they first played there. One has to wonder if they'll be bringing their zimmer frames along or whether they'll just be seated in armchairs.
